Job's friends are rightly criticized for getting a lot of things wrong in their comfort of Job, but they should be commended for one thing they got exactly right. Sometimes as Christians seeking to comfort others, we need to learn to shut up already. We need to be a listening ear and not offer any sage advice, explanations or promises. "I loathe my life; I will give free utterance to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. I will say to God, 'Do not condemn me; let me know why You contend against me. Does it seem good to You to oppress, to despise the work of Your hands and favor the designs of the wicked? Have You eyes of flesh? Do You see as man sees? Are Your days as the days of man, or Your years as a man's years,...' " (Job 10:1-5) (Not verses you see quoted and claimed and liked on Facebook too much). Look what Job goes on to say in Job 10:18-22 "Why did You bring me out from the womb? Would that I had died before any eye had seen me and were as though I had not been, carried from the womb to the grave. Are not my days few? Then cease, and leave me alone, that I may find a little cheer before I go- and I shall not return- to the land of darkness and deep shadow, the land of gloom like thick darkness, like deep shadow without any order, where light is as thick as darkness." (Remember that Job is saying all this to God.)
This is the deep despair of a man who has been devastated. In the same day, he has had most all of his cattle and animals (i.e. means of income and food) destroyed and all of his children killed. Then he gets struck with a horrible and painful skin disease on top of that (in a time with little medicine available- no Neosporin to rub on those sores- scraping at them with broken pottery will have to do). And the one person who should have been the most comfort, his wife, only offers this advice- "Curse God and die!" Wow! Thanks a lot, wife. Of course, Job doesn't do this, but he definitely lets God have a barrage of his angry, hurt, pained and torturous feelings, with a lot of feelings of being betrayed and feeling hugely disappointed with God mixed in. Job had just had his whole worldview shattered too. Doesn't God bring good to the good and bad to the bad? I mean, God Himself said Job was blameless and upright! (Job 1:8) But bad befalls us all at times. We can't explain it. Sometimes, like Jonah, we feel angry enough to die! (Jonah 4:9) In the end, hopefully we learn that God never does wickedness and doesn't pervert justice. (Job 34:10-12) And as Job acknowledges, there are some things we just can't understand. Brokenness, pain, suffering and hurting is part of the experience now in this fallen world. And our every cry of "Why?" and every tear is an echo of the feeling that all of humanity shares- there is something horribly wrong in the world and we live in a vastly cruel parody of what this world should be. Of course, ultimately it is a world of our own making and we are the ones who have brought the decimation by our sin. And God has identified with our suffering in the person of Jesus Christ and His death on the cross. His Resurrection brings us hope that we will be resurrected through our faith in Him to the life that He meant for us to live- in a new Heaven and new earth where God Himself will wipe away all our tears. (Revelation 21-22). Until that glorious day, while we do live in light of eternity, we also live in recognition of the hurt and pain of our day-to-day life in this world and seek to assuage people's pain and bring them the balm of Gilead that alone can ultimately cure their ails.
Let's do as Job's friends did. "Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great." (Job 2:11-13) Yes, as much criticism as we can rightly level at these guys later on in the book (which God mentions in Job 42 and they repent of with sacrifices and Job graciously prays for his friends as God commands so they can be forgiven too)- there is one thing they got exactly right. No casseroles and dinners brought for Job (not saying there's anything wrong in offering food to the suffering though), but most importantly, no pithy sayings and no attempts at words of comfort. Instead, they did just what The Bible says elsewhere- they mourned with Job as he mourned. And they suffered in silence together with their friend. May we all learn to show the love of Christ to the hurting in the same manner.
Yes, there is a time to encourage one another and spur one another on toward love and good deeds and help comfort others with the comfort God has given us in our times of distress, but there is also a time to be silent and listen and lament and weep. (as Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 attests. See also Hebrews 10:23-25 and 2 Corinthians 1:1-11).
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." (Romans 12:15)
