Civil War (of Words) and Peace Speech

I had a few thoughts percolating through my brain today somewhat related to freedom and Independence Day and all like that but also relating to other important issues. I really hate that it seems like it's almost impossible to have a civil discussion anymore- at least online, where you have people that don't all believe the exact same things as you. I saw a post online on a page I follow and its message seemed to be a bit ambiguous so I did what I often do on such posts- I asked a question for clarification. (I learned on Sesame Street that that's the best way to find out stuff.) Unfortunately, because social media seems to bring out the absolute worst in us people- and perhaps the feeling of relative safety of exchanges that are not in person adds to this- everyone tends to naturally assume that a sincere question is really just someone looking to upset others and pick a fight, hence earning them the title of "troll". And then it is assumed that the post in question should and must be blindingly obvious to everyone. Thus, if you must ask such questions, you are deemed to evidently be "part of the problem". (Never mind that "the problem" can never seem to be pinpointed or explained.) And such responses shut down conversation and thus disallow further understanding to occur. The nicer shutdown of conversation is the explanation that social media is generally not the best place for delicate conversations. This is essentially a reiteration of the old adage about not talking about religion or politics in mixed company. The problem with this notion is that this means serious conversations that need to happen can never happen because we can't seem to lovingly and respectfully talk about potentially controversial topics without attacking each other for daring to think differently than we do on something. That is very sad when meaningful discussion and debate can't be conducted. In contrast, I had a nice conversation with a gentleman today who was exercising his First Amendment free speech rights by holding up a sign on the sidewalk where passing motorists and pedestrians could see his campaign to boycott some companies with whom he had grievances. (I don't want to get into specifics because that is besides the point of this post much like the ending parantheses bracket is to this point.) I am not sure if I totally agreed with his cause but I could agree that he had a valid point. I wished him well in his cause and rejoiced that he was a fellow believer in Christ, even if we hold to some different denominational views. This is not to say that I am the best at having civil discussions, particularly those with whom I disagree. This is to say that it is possible and it's what the right to free speech should entail. We don't have to hold all the same views in order for me to respect and love you and respect your right to your views. I have a number of friends who hold very different views from me. Some are on different ends of political views and religious stances. Some claim no faith and some claim a different one. It is okay for them to have their views and I respect their right to hold them. And I try to be respectful to listen to them. It is a great exercise to try at times. Read something from a totally opposite point of view. See what you can learn from it. Even if you wind up discarding all of it wholesale, at least you are now better informed so as to understand the way others view things. As Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers." Let's make peace instead of grief when we disagree. My personal guide is of course The Bible, which is God's Word. And He commands us to make a righteous judgment in John 7:24. In 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22, we find my guiding verses for discerning truth as I assess various sources of information. "Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid all appearances of evil." In doing this, I also make a point to point out to the person I'm speaking with the points I can heartily agree with them on first. I try to compliment them on the good things I see in their speech. And then I gently but firmly point out where I differ and that is where we have to agree to disagree agreeably, as my dad would say. Another wise thing he often said when we were overseas on the mission field often comes to mind for me too. "Different is not necessarily wrong- it's just different." To bring this back to the theme of Independence Day, I will say this specifically about the United States of America. As one who was not "Born in the U.S.A." (which is why my mom says I can't sing the Bruce Springsteen song of the same name ;-)), I have a bit of a different view of America as a foreign country that I also regard as home to some degree. To some degree, I will always regard Trinidad & Tobago as home as well since I still am at least partly a Trini at heart. (Trini 2 De Bone! :-)) To a smaller degree, I feel some loyalty to Spain as the land of my birth. (This is why it's really hard for me to say where I'm from. ;-)) And having lived in different cultures, I can see things that these countries do and believe that I can hold to and agree with, while there are other things I would have to discard. (Just like 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 ;-)) And I'm glad for and proud of my Spanish, Trini and American heritage. I praise God for the Blessings of Liberty in all three homes. God shed His grace on all three- just as He did on the whole world when He sent Christ to die and rise to pay for our sins. (Titus 3:4-7) May God mend thine every flaw for the whole world. That's the process He is doing as His Spirit moves in us who are Christ followers to share The Gospel around the world and live out the kingdom of God so that His will is done here as it is in Heaven. We are God's agents of change spreading the sweet aroma of Christ that overpowers people like bees overcome with the allure of nectar or cats with catnip. We do that best when we love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength- giving Him all the glory rightfully due His Name alone- and when we love our neighbour as ourselves. That is what I want to be about as I seek to speak The Truth in Love. (Matthew 22:34-40 and Ephesians 4:15) And as Ephesians 4:29-32 talks about, I want to be kind to others, tenderhearted, forgiving as Christ forgave me- giving grace to all who hear me so that others are built up with my words and never torn down. Every single human being is made in God's image and is worthy of love and respect. They are infinitely important and valuable and eternally loved! Please forgive me for any time I have ever said or done anything to make anyone feel any less. I dare not say anything to besmirch or belittle His creation! The grace and love of Jesus compels me to show His love to others in extravagance, as He has done for me and all of us. (John 3:16 and Romans 5:8) Thank You, Father God, for freedom of speech, assembly, peacefully petitioning of the government for a redress of grievances, the press and religion. I am glad to live in a country that recognizes those rights and acknowledges that all men and women are created equal and endowed by You with these rights- along with the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I am also thankful to You eternally that I have found my happiness in You because You are the source of all joy! Your love pardons and forgives all sin for all who come in faith and repentance to You. And I thank and praise You that my ultimate Home is with You in Heaven because You have saved me from the Hell I deserve for my sins and instead given me the Heaven I don't deserve. Your grace and mercy are amazing and overwhelming! May Your graciousness overflow in me to all I meet in pointing them to You. I thank You for making me a citizen of Heaven. (Philippians 3:20) Whatever gain I had, I count it all as loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and Saviour. (Philippians 3:7-14) Help me to keep pressing on beyond the past to what You have lying in wait for me in the future, doing all You have called me to do in the present. And may all I do be done in Love. In Your Holy Name, Amen.

Till We Have Facebooks of Love

 I think it's important sometimes to remind ourselves that social media is not real life. It's more like those Christmas cards you send out with little updates on your family where everything is picture perfect and rosy. We don't usually like to air all the dirty laundry and put the nitty gritty out there. But the funny thing is that this isn't always true. That's one extreme people can go to with maintaining a veneer of peaceful bliss, while hiding away the chaos- and thus not really being honest. (Reference Eleventyseven's song "MySpace" for more on that idea. Yes, the platform is different but the attitudes are the same. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SX2fv2KhMqs)

This harkens back to the social rule of not discussing religion or politics in mixed company. It's meant to avoid arguments but I've never liked that rule. Why can't we challenge ourselves to speak on those topics in mixed groups without losing tempers or friendships? I have seen far too much of both those two possibilities happen in online discussions. I just saw it again today, which prompted me to post this. And it's funny to see how the Pendulum has swung to the other extreme, where people unload everything on you without holding back and feel some sort of security in anonymity on the Internet or just the safety of distance where you don't have to worry about having the guts to something to someone's face and you don't have to worry about getting a black eye. (Not that you should have to worry about that even when in person.)

    It's good to have people with different views in your life just to help you keep open to different points of view and not get locked into your own echo chamber. And that even includes people with ideas you might consider immoral and/or repulsive.

    I'm sorry that to see people terminate their friendship- especially when it seems to be a reaction to finding that they have diametrically opposing views with someone else. And while I can understand trying to avoid negative influences, I don't think the mere fact of having a different opinion should be a reason to cut off a friendship.

    We need to be understanding and loving towards those with whom we disagree. Look for the places where you can agree and affirm their statements and them- and then talk calmly about places where you will have to agree to disagree.

   Loving people in the Name of Jesus and keeping the door open to share The Gospel- and actually sharing the Good News of God's love for all us hellbound sinners proved by Christ's death and Resurrection which provides salvation and entry to Heaven for all who put faith in Him and follow Him- are infinitely more important than winning arguments with them. I firmly believe no one has ever been argued or bullied or belittled into believing in Christ- or into even accepting a different point of view, for that matter. And they're definitely not won over by our stupid, insulting name-calling and memes. Why would God bless sinful methods? It's God's KINDNESS that leads us to repentance! (Yes, I am overemphasizing that here because I think it's a reminder we all need to hear.) It doesn't matter what rude or mean thing someone has said to us- our response is always to love and be kind and pray for them! We need to always be gracious- because God is infinitely gracious to us undeserving, ungrateful people. (Cue one of my favourite newer Apologetix songs- "A Loan For You".

https://youtu.be/7H1J6WbzYXk)

Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. (Just read all of Romans 12, really.) And speak The Truth in Love. (Ephesians 4:15)

We Just Disagree

(Note: This was written as a response to some heated comments I saw online over something that should not have been controversial for Christ followers, but sometimes that happens anyway when emotions get revved up. The exact nature of that is not my main focus here; this is more just on how we talk yo one another and treat each other. Let God's Love and mercy lead always.) 


   It is always interesting reading responses to Scriptures posted online and to ideas in general. There can be a lot of good ideas expressed here. There are usually some I would not agree with but even if I don't, I want to listen and try to understand and learn from them. As I noted with my nephews the other day, I am incredibly stupid quite often so I need to grab whatever learning I can. ;-)
   Much of what I would say in response might be said already, though clearly I would likely have befuddled people with esoteric '80s references for no reason and made more poop jokes and such. (Remember that I have already established my capacity for depths of incredible stupidity. ;-) By the way, speaking of befuddlement, if Bugs Bunny's oft hunter became a supervillain, I would definitely want to call Elmer Fudd the Fuddler and write statements like, "The Fuddler finally utterly befuddled that wascally wabbit!")
     If I seem to be going out of my way to make dumb jokes, that's because I'm goofy! (Not Goofy- that's trademarked.) And it's also because I wanted to highlight a point made earlier here. We need to slow down, stop, pause and pray before we jump into everything with guns blazing. Sometimes lightening the mood a little can dissipate some tension and defuse some anger. And here we can make sure our anger is directed where it should be in a righteous way.
    Let me be very clear that while I don't take myself very seriously, I take Jesus and The Bible extremely seriously. As Bob Pierce, founder of World Vision desired, I want my heart to be broken by the things that break the heart of God.
   God's heart is certainly shattered over the injustice and murder and racial hatred that has gone on in our world. He's equally shattered over retaliatory acts that also disregard His commands in the form of vandalism and further violence.
I in no way would ever make light of either.
    I think my brothers and sisters in Christ have already said some great statements on a Christian response to all this and I echo their comments. Out of the park six runs! :-) (Now those comments will get a cricket response instead of a crickets response.)
    Here is the main observation I want to make about the way we often respond to each other, both in person but especially on social media behind the safe reach of keyboards. If you feel that what someone is saying is dotishness (to use a Trini term- i.e. stupidness), then that's something you can address. In addressing it though, let's remember to make sure our words are comporting to Ephesians 4:29 and that we are only saying what's useful to lifting folks up. We already have the world there to beat us down- we don't need more of the same from those who are our friends and especially those who claim the Name of Christ. We must speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
    And please remember that behind every statement is a real life person- a human being made in the image of Almighty God, infinitely important, eternally valuable and loved and worthy of love and respect. Remember that what you say to them is akin to saying it to Jesus. (Matthew 25:40) And we will give an account for every single word we say and thought we think to Jesus. (Matthew 12:36) And Jesus says the world will know we are Christians by our love for one another. (John 13:35) Philippians 2 says I am to think of others as better than myself. That is the attitude of humility I should be bringing, taking my example from Jesus Himself.
    With that in mind, here are a few things I would plead. Make sure what you're saying is true, kind and helpful and loving. There is a place for bringing rebuke in love- and believe me, I need to hear it. But let's always be gracious in those rebukes as well.
    And when we see other's posts that we disagree with, let's always give them the benefit of the doubt. Before lashing out on gut emotion, let's pause to think and catch our mind's breath and and consider who we are dealing with here. Let's make every effort to read those statements in the absolute best light possible, rather than the absolute worst light possible as we often tend to do. Let's assume the best about others rather than assume the worst.
    Then in giving our reply, I would encourage leading off with the good stuff. Accentuate the positive first. What are the points of agreement where I can say, "Whoa! You totally rock, dude! (Or dudette, as the case may be.) Thanks for being way awesome and saying that. I LOVE how said that part that is absolutely spot on!"? After saying that, then I'll gently and gingerly get into the points where I have to respectfully disagree.
   But let's remember that the likelihood of my stupidity seeping through is high so I may be wrong in my opinion too. But I want you to know I respect your right to your opinion and whether we agree or not- I totally respect you! I always love regardless of where we stand on issues. I don't care what you say that I disagree with- you're still awesome and you're still my friend and brother and sister in The Lord!
    Those are the things I often see lacking and I am grieved to see how we tear each other down so much. This is not to say I'm not all jacked up too- I've got plenty of failings too! (Me and Paul keep have WCW/WWF wrestling matches over the "chief of sinners" title weight belt. :-( )
We can all stand to do better.
   May our love and righteous anger be like those of Jesus and may He heal us and use us to bring His love to others. And may He bless you all.