Celibate Recovery

Note: This piece is in response to an article in Relevant Magazine entitled "The Secret Sexual Revolution". The article talked about why it was common to see even Christian singles engaging in sex and how best the church could address this. Thus, my response starts off by repeating a question asked by the article- Why are Christian singles engaging in sex? Why? Because we're sinners- and we need to come back to the Saviour. We need to trust Jesus to be better than anything else in the world- including having sex. He fulfills all our needs, including our sex drive needs- in the right way and in the right context and in the right time. 


        Why? Because we're sinners. It's very sad to see, but yes- we've all fallen so short. Not all Christians are having sex outside of marriage, but I know that notion is mocked as hopelessly outdated now. I kind of wonder how much we really value The Lord Jesus and His Word versus the voice of the world. Certainly both call to us, but we must let Jesus' voice be louder than the world's. Sex outside of marriage is sin. (Our culture has very much blurred the definitions of sex and marriage, but God still defines it as a special act of love to be performed between 1 man united to 1 woman for life. That man and that woman who have been married to each other- they become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24, reiterated by Jesus in Matthew 19)
       Of course, Jesus told us in Matthew 5:28 that if we even look at a woman lustfully, we've committed adultery with her in our hearts. (So His definition of adultery goes way past our human definition.)
These are depressing statistics for sure and I think they are reflective of a few things. One- a lot of Christians are heavily influenced by the world via media- movies, TV, Internet, books, music, etc. and the voice of the world is stronger and louder to them than the voice of Jesus. (In saying this, I don't mean to say it's wrong to partake of some of these media outlets- but I do mean to say that we must be discerning as to what we take in. Philippians 4:8, 1 Corinthians 10:31)
        Two- I think there may be respondents to the surveys that identify as Christian in name only and may not truly be following Christ. (Or perhaps they think they are, but their lives indicate otherwise.)
Three- I think that regardless of what pictures of sex and marriage we see in the culture, we are frail, fallible human beings who want to do what we want to do when we want to do it and don't want anyone telling us it's wrong- and we don't want to face any consequences for it. And thus, we give in to temptation and give in to sin.
         I know I have given in to lust at times and it doesn't help that the Internet is pervaded with sexual images that can be happened upon without even trying to find them. Totally innocent searches online can lead to some nasty images. Other times, I may search them out, knowing exactly where it will lead. Television and movies and Internet videos already display what at times amounts to soft-core porn just about and with sites created to help people find hard-core porn without the pesky viruses that tend to come with those sites- it's very easy to sin, unfortunately.
         And then there are the images we see in advertising and just when we see people walking down the street. Of course, as I've said before, I don't really care if women are parading down the street literally naked- men are always 100% at fault for staring and lusting after them. (I do think both men and women should be conservative in what they wear and not try to be provocative- particularly Christian women- and no, this isn't a cop-out excuse for men who lust and rape women because the women "were inviting them" with their clothing or lack thereof. Men are still 100% wrong there- take responsibility for your actions.) We can't control what others wear or don't wear, but we can control where we let our eyes roam and linger. Rather than get defeated by a momentary accidental glimpse of the forbidden, turn your eyes away and think on the pure things God would have you think upon. And pray for God's help not to give in. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
         I also wonder about why sex is such a temptation for us as Christians, so much so that we want to encourage marriage simply so that we won't be in prolonged temptation. Therefore, we get married so that we can have sex! Well, if you're getting married just so you can have sex, I think you're getting married for the wrong reason. Why do we worship sex like our god? Sin is crouching at our door, desiring to have us, but we must master it! Sex and marriage are good in the right context- the way that God created them. But neither one will ever give us the deep longing of the soul that all of us feel throughout life. A relationship with Jesus Christ is the only way to meet that fulfillment.
        So I don't say any of this as someone who's perfect at it, but as a man who claims Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour and seeks to follow Him, despite falling down off the path so many times, but always getting back up with His help and starting out again. I'm SO thankful that He always remains faithful even when I'm faithless. (2 Timothy 2:13) If we belong to Christ, our bodies are not our own because we were bought with a price. Therefore, we must honor God with our bodies. (1 Corinthians 6) Don't join Christ to a prostitute- don't invite Him to view pornography with you and ogle after naked girls or guys- don't tell sexual jokes to Jesus and think He'll be laughing- don't make your one night stand a threesome with Jesus there on the marriage bed. That is exactly the picture 1 Corinthians 6 paints whenever we indulge in sexual sin- we sin against our own body but we also, since our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, enjoin Jesus to sexual immorality when we enjoin our own bodies to it. As verse 9-11 talk about, some of us were sexual sinners before coming to Christ- but we were washed, cleansed and sanctified from it in Christ's blood. And even if we fall back into old habits, we have an advocate with The Father Who is praying for us and Whose grace still covers all our deepest, darkest sins and Whose forgiveness still extends to us when we come to Him in repentance and Whose love still rides like a banner over us eternally.