(Note: This is a piece of writing borne out of a real conversation about the age old question of why the wicked always seem to prosper and the righteous always seem to suffer. Christ calls us to count the cost before following Him and many times after walking faithfully with Him for a long time, we start to feel the weight of that cost. After a while, we don't feel like we have received the rest God promises in Matthew 11:28. It seems like we should have more of our felt needs met and God doesn't seem to be cutting it anymore. What do we do then? Why do the wicked always seem to prosper while all we seem to get for our struggles in following Jesus is just pain and suffering? Is God fair?)
One of the biggest areas of unfulfillment more than anything else felt for Christians is in the area of love and romantic relationships. Though married people feel this at times too, it seems particularly grievous and painful for single Christians faithfully holding to celibacy. Praise God for that testimony of holding true to His standards of sexual purity! That's a very honest confession that not many can make. And I always appreciate honesty, as I know God does. And we can always be totally honest with Him.
But where does that leave me when I feel like God isn't meeting my needs in this area?
I can understand struggling with doubts about God and His promises. I've struggled with doubts numerous times myself. I think every Christian, if they're honest, would admit that. Throughout the Scriptures there are tons of folks who struggled with doubts. Just read the book of Job. Moses and Elijah are also two prime examples. But both those guys also appeared with Jesus on the mountain at His transfiguration! Obviously they made it through the doubts to see their faith become sight.
It's certainly not easy but we are still called to trust God and endure- particularly when it's hard, sad and lonely. (The command to endure is one of the most repeated phrases in Revelation particularly and through The Bible.)
Just read the accounts of Jesus' time in Gethsemane. We are promised to stand with Him in Heaven in the end- and all our trials here will be far outweighed by it! (Romans 8)- but we must stand with Him in Gethsemane and at Calvary first.
I can understand about feeling lonely and sad- I'm an almost 36-and-a-half-year old man who's a virgin too and I've never been married. I'd still like to be married if God grants that and leads me to the right woman but I'm okay with it if God wants me to be single too. As single Christians, we're in good company with Paul and Jesus. :-)
As to God meeting our needs, Philippians 4:19 says God will meet all our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. I believe that encompasses companionship needs as well. However, I think we have to be careful how we define our needs. We usually talk of sexual desire, not sexual need. I mean, no one's died from not having sex. That is something we have to surrender to The Lord- along with all else.
You might like to read Psalms 73- a dude named Asaph had some of the same complaints. Habakkuk had similar thoughts too. And in the end, we can remember that the pleasures of this life are fleeting- but the kingdom of God is eternal. And He promises an eternity of joy in Him. He is the One we are made to worship (Revelation 4:11) and when we live in accordance with the way our Maker made us, we find the greatest joy. Everything else disappoints us ultimately- including marriage and sex.
And if we put our hopes in those things fulfilling us- if we put hope in any relationship over the one we have with Christ- we're going to be disappointed. Where else can we go but Christ? He has the words of eternal life. (John 6:68) And He comes to give us life and life more abundant. I believe that starts in the here and now and continues into eternity.
We have to seek Him first and His righteousness and all our other needs will be added onto us. (Matthew 6:33) And if I can trust Jesus with my eternity, surely I can trust Him with my relationships on earth! I am not always the best at this and I fall into wistful whimpering and whining at times too but I have decided that I do not want to wallow in depression and despair because of what I don't have right now! I choose to be happy and joyous in Jesus because of all He's blessed me with in life. May my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth like peanut butter if I forget Him and don't make Him my highest joy! You are my one thing, Lord Jesus! May Your praise ever be on my lips. You are always worthy! I'd rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked! (See Psalms 137 and Psalms 42 and 43 and 84 and 103!)
I hope that helps some. Hold on! And I don't claim to have all the answers but I know I have struggled with a lot of these things before and those are the conclusions the Holy Spirit's led me to in The Bible. The marathon comes before the maranatha. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27 and 1 Corinthians 16:22) But let's be clear too that God doesn't owe us anything! A classic song made famous by Lynn Anderson comes to mind- "I beg your pardon. I never promised you a rose garden." I'm also reminded of the elder brother in Luke 15 complaining about the seeming unfairness of his father when all his years of service didn't get him a fattened calf. Of course, the father assures that all he has belongs to him. In our case, we are given all that God has too! He sent Jesus to die and rise to pay for all our sins so that we might have salvation and be in Heaven with Him instead of in Hell for eternity! The burning hell is what we deserve! As Mark Lowry once observed, anything above burning in Hell is a privilege!
God never promised to meet all our wants but He did promise to meet all our needs- and He is enough for us in the end. (Psalms 73:23-28, John 6:68) Why do I want this world to be perfect (according to my standards) when I have a perfect one waiting? That's where I must put my hope above all else- Christ and His kingdom! (Philippians 3:20) This world is not my home- I'm just passing through.
I pray God continues to encourage you and show you His Love in a special way. Keep enduring. There is a glory coming that far outshines and outweighs anything we face in this life. We must continue to walk by faith and not by sight. It will be more than worth it in the end.
And keep praying and seeking after God even when you doubt His benevolence or care. He is always faithful and delights in you and delights to gather you in His arms of love. Love you in the Lord. I will pray for you too. :-)
I've often found songs to be therapeutic as well. Maybe some favourites that have helped me often will be helpful to you.
I'll post a few here and be done. God bless.
(James 1:17, Ephesians 2, Psalms 149, Psalms 150)
Praise God from Whom all blessings flow! Praise Him all creatures here below! Praise Him above ye Heavenly hosts! Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost! Amen!
Very good advice, and well said! And good catchphrases in there. :)
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