Preach The Gospel to Yourself-and Stay and Watch with Jesus

   There's a saying that goes like this- "Sometimes you need to preach The Gospel to yourself." That's what the one minute video I've posted here talks about well.
I have had to do that at times, particularly whenever I struggle with doubts and questions about faith. Those who know me well probably know I've talked a lot about this before and wrestled with worries and fears about my salvation and Christianity in general at times. What if it's all untrue? That's a question some don't like to deal with much or at all. Yet The Bible itself deals with it. In a famous passage in 1 Corinthians 15:12-28, Paul under the Holy Spirit's inspiration tells us that if Christ has not been raised from the dead, then our faith is futile and we're still in our sins. All of Christendom rests on the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.
    That is a question along with many others that are worth pondering. I've usually had more soteriology questions than anything else though- and they usually have to do with my salvation experience. I've talked about this before but I want to try to address another aspect of this here. Though I have had passing thoughts before wondering if other religions are true rather than Christianity, as I've said before, I've doubted myself more than I've ever doubted God. I have come to realize something through all this. I think a large part of the problem is having so many competing voices, whether through jeers and accusations from non-believers along with genuine questions or from sincere insistences on denominational doctrinal teachings from different Christian voices. I find myself comparing my experience to that of others and if they don't seem to match up, I find myself panicking that somehow I didn't do something right in the salvation process, like I took a wrong turn on the Romans road. (And that would be a problem because the straight and narrow road doesn't have turns.) There are questions of having the right motives, really repenting "enough", or having an emotional experience. I'll admit that fear of the punishment of hell is what first me drove me to Jesus. I think He can still use that and deepen our experience and relationship with Him from there.
    It seems there are two extremes of polarity that people go to with faith in Christ. Either the life gate is swung open for all no matter what you do with Christ or it's locked so tight that it's only opened when perfection is achieved. Of course, both of those views are heresies. Somewhere in between those two extremes, you have liberal progressive views closer to one end that seem to make grace a license for sin and offer what is derided by others as "cheap grace" and "easy believism". One need only trust that Jesus Christ is Lord and God and that He died and rose to pay for our sins. This is commonly expressed in what's known as the "sinner's prayer". (And to be fair, Romans 10:8-13 sounds a lot like that prayer. And Ephesians 2:8-9 certainly says we're saved by grace through faith- and not of works.) The need for repentance seems to be mitigated and the very need for a Saviour- our status as people dead in our trespasses- is lost in an effort to soften the blow. (Jude 1:3-4 particularly speaks expressly against this, along with other passages like James 2 and Romans 6.)
     Closer to the other end are those who insist that repentance is a necessary act for salvation and decry the idea of the "sinner's prayer". This group insists that too many simply say a prayer like a magic spell and think they are then granted eternal life by simply agreeing with God that we are sinners who can't save ourselves and believing Jesus died and rose to pay for pur sins. Yet then they go on with their lives and nothing seems to have changed! There is certainly a danger here as Jesus said there are many who will do just this and say to Him on the Last Day, "Lord, Lord- didn't we do all these things in Your Name?" And He'll tell them, "Depart from Me. I never knew you!" (See Matthew 7) That's an eternal tragedy we can't afford to get wrong.
    After all, Acts 2:38 says we must repent and be baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of our sins and then we'll receive The Holy Spirit. (And here, things get extrapolated even further by some groups that insist you must be baptized in order to be saved and still others that insist you must speak in tongues as enabled by The Holy Spirit just as the disciples did in Acts 2 on the Day of Pentecost!)
     I want to be careful here to say that I am not trying to castigate any denomination for their beliefs, even if I may personally disagree on some. I am generally a fan of ecumenism in the sense of seeking to learn from brothers and sisters in Christ and be one church in Christ as Jesus prayed in the High Priestly prayer in John 17. There are some minor, non-salvific issues of faith that are really not worth arguing about. Rather, I just look to Philippians 1:18 and say praise God that the Gospel is being preached through them. And even though I disagree with them on some things, there are important truths I agree with all of them on and things that I learn from them and I am glad for that.
    With that said, I think I can say that constantly hearing from these different approaches and stances can leave me rather spiritually schizophrenic at times. As well meaning as all these groups may be, sometimes I find I need to get away from what others think about Jesus and The Bible and just dive into The Word myself and pray and wait to hear straight from God Himself. When I do this, things become more clear. There is truth in both sides of the matter. Yes, salvation is easy because Jesus makes it easy so that it takes only the faith of a child. Yes, salvation is hard in some ways because we have to let go of all pride and all our "good deeds" (which are as but filthy rags to the holy God - Isaiah 64:6) and realize that we are wretched sinners who can do nothing to save ourselves and need God to save us and change us- to help us repent from our sins and follow Him.
    I suppose what particularly rankles me is when the Gospel presentations seem to be so bent on beating that idea of depravity into someone via an examination of how closely one has followed the Ten Commandments. (Spoiler alert- we've broken all of them so many times over. James 2:10 says even breaking one part is like breaking them all.) I agree that people need to be aware of their sin and acknowledge it in order to turn to Christ for salvation from it. Where I feel things slip into legalism is when it seems like the people saying such things come off like they've arrived and seem to suggest that "real" salvation must include instantaneous repentance of all sins on the spot and immediate holiness from there forward. (Part of the confusion here may stem from the fact that some groups do believe people can lose their salvation but that's a whole other conversation.) Expectations of holiness with a "holier-than-thou" attitude make me think of Jesus' words to the Pharisees in Matthew 23 about being those who lay heavy burdens on others but don't lift a finger to help them carry it. The problem with this idea of repentance involving utter holiness going forward is that clearly there are examples in the New Testament that show the disciples of Jesus still struggled with sin even after being saved. Peter denied Jesus three times and was restored! He also later dealt with racism in regards to Gentile believers, which Paul confronted him about to correct. (Luke 22, John 21, Acts 10-11, Galatians 2)  Paul himself admitted to struggling with coveting. (Romans 7)
    Clearly, being saved by Christ does not mean we automatically become made holy. If that were the case, Jesus could just take us to Heaven after salvation. However, I think we are left here instead to grow closer to God through the sanctification process (which Philippians 3 talks about with the desire to forget what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.) We are also here to be Christ's witnesses to the ends of the earth. (Matthew 28:18-20, Acts 1:8) We are justified and declared righteous when we're saved though because of what Jesus has done and our faith in Him- not from anything we've done. (Romans 3-4) We go through the sanctification process until we reach Heaven (either through death or Christ's return- whichever comes first) and then we are given glorification with new bodies. (1 Corinthians 15)
   To the other side of things, I also get upset at the watering down of the Gospel that seems to neglect mentioning sin or can't seem to call sin what it is- sin. The Gospel that makes every allowance for the flesh rather than putting it to death is very problematic indeed, as this isn't Biblical either. (Romans 6) Grace is not a license to sin- as Brennan Manning described it, grace is a reason not to sin! There has to be a balance between the two extremes. Jesus made it clear that we will show ourselves to be His disciples by our fruit! (John 15:8, Matthew 5:17-20, Matthew 7:15-20) This is also what James 2 clearly demonstrates- faith without works is dead!
     What is the solution? I think the two concepts meet beautifully at the cross. God's justice and His mercy crisscross in the beams of the cross as they meet there in Christ. Christ fulfilled The Law's demands for us and declares us righteous. He became sin for us so that we could become God's righteousness. (2 Corinthians 5:16-21) This is all the work of God- The Father draws us, the Son saves us and the Spirit indwells us. (John 6:44, Romans 5:6-11, Romans 8:1-11) Yet it does seem paradoxical in nature when we read passages like Philippians 2:12-13. We're told to work our own salvation with fear and trembling but right after that we're told that it's God who works in us to will and work for His good pleasure. Ephesians 2:8-9 is a famous passage that tells us we're saved by God's grace through our faith- it's God's gift and not from our works so none of us can boast. Yet verse 10 yells us that we're God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. And all of these verses are true, of course. The order is extremely important though. God does the saving work in us first and gifts us faith enough to even trust in Him and He works in us so that we do the good works He made us to do all along. The good works are a result of salvation- not a cause of it. Galatians 5:16-26 offers some good lists, both of bad qualities we should no longer display as well as good ones- namely, the fruit of the Spirit that should be manifest in our lives as a result of salvation. And God will keep working to make our lives align with those verses as time goes on in our walks with Him. And when we do fall, He's ready to restore us to Him when we repent and confess our sins to Him. He is always faithful- even when we're faithless. (1 John 1:9, 2 Timothy 2:13) And Jesus will never let go or lose those who are His own! (John 6:35-40, John 10:10-30)
   To circle this back around to my starting point, I had a session of preaching The Gospel to myself for a few hours through the night the other night. Besides my usual Bible reading and prayer time, I also read aloud to myself 1 John and portions of Romans and Philippians and Galatians, most of which I've quoted already here. In a reflection of God's timing, note how things were orchestrated to be on my mind at the right time. I had just finished reading a book called "Sightings of the Savior" by Rick Ezell. The last chapter dealt with doubts and used the account of Thomas' moment of doubt about Jesus' Resurrection, which soon became a great declaration of faith when he was confronted with the evidence. With Thomas, I declare of Jesus Christ- "My Lord and my God!" (John 20:24-31) As the book notes, doubts can often arise from insecurity and disobedience (among other sources.)  I feel like I've seen insecurity combine often when I fall into a spate of sin, particularly one that I have struggled with often, with moments of victory and far too many moments of defeat. It's easy to think that this sin is so horrible that God can't possibly know me fully as He says He does in Psalms 139 and still love me and be willing to forgive me when I return to Him. Yet He's always true and always there with arms of love that I collapse into in a puddle of tears. I believe I have heard God speak to my heart before and tell me that He knows me and who I am- the sinful man that I so often am, as Peter confessed, but He also knows the man I can be in Him and that's who He's making me to be. I trust Him to do that. And hearing a sermon on "Doubting Thomas" yet again the Sunday after I spent hours pouring my heart out to God over this and other issues is just more confirmation and assurance of God's timing and presence.
   The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 13:5 that it's necessary and good to do a heart check every so often and make sure we're in the faith. This is part of preaching The Gospel to ourselves. We remember who we are before God and the extent of our depravity. We remember what Jesus did for us because of how much He loves us! We reaffirm our faith in Him and we are reminded of the awesomeness of His grace. As Elizabeth Cecilia Douglas Clephane wrote in her great hymn "Beneath the Cross of Jesus", "From my smitten heart, with tears, two wonders I confess- the wonders of His glorious love and my unworthiness."
    As Jesus did in Mark 1:35, going out to a desolate place early in the morning to pray, I try to do the same during these times. I highly recommend this experience as often as you can. I will admit I'm not the best about getting up early in the morning, but thankfully any time is a good time to pray. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) As it says in Psalms 63:6, I remember God upon my bed and meditate on Him in the watches of the night. "At midnight I rise to praise You, because of Your righteous rules." (Psalms 119:62) I'm glad I'm in good company with Biblical night owls. Either way, I enjoy taking times to go by myself in the woods or a lonely park or perhaps at a quiet beach or on a mountain trail- anywhere in the midst of God's creation. I love to enjoy God's beautiful wonders outside! Of course, the other night I just did this kneeling down in my bathroom. Alone, I could read the Scriptures out loud to myself in the mirror and pray aloud to The Lord and wait for Him to answer as the Spirit brought other things to mind.
It's so good to spend this time reading God's Word in The Bible, praying, and sometimes singing songs of praise as well and perhaps taking notes with pen and paper or working on writing songs or poems of praise as well.
   However God might prompt you to spend times of renewal with Him like this, do it! These are great times of refreshing for the soul as well as laying bare the soul before the Creator and being totally honest with Him about everything on your mind and heart. He is our assurance when our hearts condemn us; He's greater than our hearts and He knows everything. (See 1 John 3:16-24) Jesus says in Matthew 7 that only do those who do the will of His Father will enter the kingdom of Heaven. What is the will of His Father? He says in John 6:40 that it's that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in Him should have eternal life and Jesus will raise us up on the last day. That belief in Him and His saving work is proved by the love we have in us for God and each other. We are set free by the Son and made a part of God's family forever. (John 8:32-36, John 1:12) We're joint heirs with Christ. (Romans 8:10-17) And nothing will ever separate us from His love! (Romans 8:38-39) Preach The Gospel to yourself and believe it- especially in times of doubt. Lean on the Everlasting Arms and trust what God says wholeheartedly. Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disappointed. The stories are true.