Nahum's Woe (song)

      Thirty-three years ago, on May 2, 1987, Larry Bird made one of the greatest, if not the greatest, plays of his basketball career. In game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals, the Boston Celtics were down by one point to the Detroit Pistons. With five seconds to go, the Pistons had the ball at their end of the court and it looked like things were all over for the Celtics. Yet if Pistons fans had started cheering then, they would have been extremely premature, as Larry Bird then made an outstanding play by stealing the inbounding pass from Isiah Thomas and got the ball to Dennis Johnson, who made the game-winning layup!
        Just as it is dangerous to be full of yourself and be calling the game too early in sports, it is infinitely more dangerous to do so in the spiritual realm. Nineveh is a city that had been very wicked, but God had pity on them and sent Jonah to warn them. Half-hearted though it was, Jonah's message of warning got through (eventually- after a stay in an underwater motel inside a big fish) and the people repented and God stayed His hand. Unfortunately, the people of Nineveh in later years reverted to their former wicked ways and then God sent Nahum to let them know that His judgment was coming- and it wasn't going to be stopped this time. God always carries out justice. He is certainly long-suffering and wanting to extend grace, but when people reject His kind offer, there is no recourse left. Only those who take refuge in Him are safe. Learn from Nineveh's example and repent now while there is time. (2 Corinthians 6:2)


"Nahum's Woe"
(parody of "Sussudio" by Phil Collins; copyright by Nathan Ludwick 5/7/2019)
(book of Nahum [particularly Nahum 1:7], also see book of Jonah, 2 Corinthians 6:2)

There's this book that's been on my mind
Read its lines- Na- Na- Nahum, oh! oh! oh!
Now you know me from Jonah's fame
(It's) No Disney sequel- read just the same
Na- Na- Nahum, yo! oh! oh!
Well, God- He called me to go share
Destruction's coming- Nineveh, beware!
Last century- all was right
Appealed to God- now Nineveh reverts!
Na- Na- Nahum's woes! Just read The Word!
They're do- do- doomed, you know!
God knows those (who) take refuge in Him
With (a) flood brings foes to an end
Na- Na- Nahum 1:7
God's given command- 'cause you are vile
No more will Nineveh
Pass through Judah though- oh! oh!
Ah, get dressed- battle's here from scatterer
The chariots close in as they go through town
And race Ben-Hur rush style- faces grow pale
And they'll feel who don't listen- just take The word-
2:2 Nahum- Yo! Thus saith The Lord
No game like on Yu-Gi-Oh! Whoa!
Woe (to) city bloody- all full of lies
The wheels roll on of God's justice (in) The Word!
Read 3 in Nahum- Go!
The just prey unfurls
Oh - 3:1 Nahum - Woe!
They'll just say the words, "Oh, who- who- who will grieve for her?"
All stay away
3:7 Nahum- Woe! Oh, oh, oh!
Nineveh's burned!
God's justice undeterred- uh!
Just what's deserved
For Nin- Nin- Nineveh (oh, oh, oh)
So Na- Na- Nahum- go! (Go, go, go!)
Review with Nineveh (Woe! Woe! Woe!)
Your sins have doomed you all! (Woe! Woe! Woe!)
No soothing woes! (Oh, oh, oh)
All who hear news- woe! (Woe! Woe! Woe!)
Can't ease your hurt
Wish you had boohooed and turned! (Oh, oh, oh)
Prayed to The Lord, oh
"Please save us, Lord"
But must just say the word!

Jonah Man (song)

Well, if this doesn't beat all- another parody song! :-) Of course, I think that could have been just what the subject of this song was saying too. God told Jonah to go and preach a message. Okay- he was a prophet; he's up for preaching God's Word, of course. But wait- God told him to go and preach to the Ninevites! But they're enemies- they don't even worship The Lord! And God wants him to go preach to them? Doesn't that beat all? Of course, it was a message of destruction for the town. But Jonah knew about God's mercy and His slowness to anger- and He didn't want to see that applied to his enemies. Jonah is an interesting book in The Bible where the message seems to be more about the messenger and what he learned rather than the message he preached. And in the end, Jonah learned more than he thought he knew about God's love and mercy. It reaches to all people- even him in the midst of his sin. Even for times when both he and Nineveh looked like they were going nowhere, man- nowhere but down- God still showed that He had a plan in mind for good and it will be accomplished one way or the other. And though there is an unfortunate sequel where Nineveh was eventually judged down the road (see the book of Nahum)- at this point in history, God saw the people humble themselves and was moved with compassion and stayed His hand. And I know this with this Biblical account about a big fish swallowing a man can be a lot to swallow for some folks. And no matter what kind of seafaring creature it was, it still is definitely a whale of a tale. And it's one that you can't just spit out and aside because Jesus upheld it as a true account. And Jonah is also referenced as an historical prophet elsewhere in The Bible. There are a lot of spiritual lessons we can learn from this book- so dive in, ride it out to the end and sail on with the Banner of Love flying. Jonah, man- isn't he a lot like you and me?
One of my favorite lines in this song: God is not a BIT like you and me- praise God for that!
 Lord, help us to be more like You and show Your mercy, grace and love.

"Jonah Man"
(parody of "Nowhere Man" by The Beatles; copyright Nathan Ludwick 1/27/2015)
(The book of Jonah, 2 Kings 14:25, Matthew 12:38-42, Romans 9:14-18, Revelation 7:9-10)

He's a real Jonah, man
Getting out to Joppa land
Making all his Tarshish plans to go by sea

Running when God told him to
Go and share, "Nineveh's doomed"
Isn't he a lot like you and me?

Jonah, man- please listen (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
You won't blow off your mission (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
Big fish, man (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
The Lord has got at command (aaah-ah-la-la-la)

They're as blind as they can be
Nineveh- God has pity
Jonah, man- he don't pity at all

3 days in fish's tummy (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
Prayed inside- Fish hurled thee (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
Preach it now (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
And from the king down- repent and fast (aaah-ah-la-la-la)

The Lord's wrath's appointment's moved
Jonah glares; God loves him too
God is not a bit like you and me

Jonah, man- please listen (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
They don't know right from left hand (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
Jonah, man (aaah-ah-la-la-la)
The Lord's got love for all lands (aaah-ah-la-la-la)

He's for real- Jonah, man
He's the sign from Son of Man
Matthew 12- it is there, man- for all to see
2 [Two] Kings 14:25- in history!
Go read all of Romans 9- God has mercy!

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