Biblical Sexual Purity Culture

 (Note: This is in response to a critique of what is referred to as "purity culture", posted on this blog.  

I can appreciate the points made and I do think the church needs to consider how best to Biblically address the issue of sexuality, especially with youth groups.)

Interesting blog post. I think the main problem there is that so much of what Is described as "purity culture" is not Biblical. If a church is teaching these things, then it needs to repent and correct its teaching.

To address them one by one:

1. Women are responsible for their sexual sin and men are responsible for their sexual sin.

It is worth noting that Romans 14 does warn about being a stumbling block for others and thus, it is worth considering that factor in the way we dress, along with everything else. 1 Peter 3 speaks to this point for women. Both men and women should be cognizant of how our dress- and everything else we say or do- can either turn someone towards Christ or repel them.

2. Neither women nor men should feel shame about their bodies. We both cover up appropriately according to the Spirit's leading out of love, both for our own bodies and for other people. It should not be a shame-based thing.

3. Both men and women have sexual desire (for the most part- I recognize that some identify as asexual and honestly have no libido). Both men and women are sinners. This is why both fail to control their sexual urges at times. Men are equally prone to be deceived as are women. Sexual desire is not the sin- lust is, along with sexual abuse, and sexual relations outside of the marriage of one man to one woman for life.

We all struggle with sin- and that's why we all need Christ.

4. Every single girl, boy, man and woman Is eternally valuable and loved by God because we are all made in His image. Women are more than just their sexuality, as are men. Our worth is found in Christ, not in our virginity. If a man or woman has fallen into sin with pre- or extra- marital sex, that value has not changed one iota. They are not damaged goods. They are sinners who are still eternally valuable. And Christ restores us when we come to Him in repentance. We must find our value and worth in Him. And because we love Him, we will obey His commands.

5. I'm not sure what this has to do with anything. I am pretty sure I can safely say, for the most part, men and women both enjoy sex equally. I am pretty sure most people find sex to be fun. I am also bewildered that women are evidently not familiar with their anatomy. It would seem to be a failing on the part of biology instruction in schools. Both men and women should have a basic understanding of human anatomy.

6. If men and women have sex before marriage, yes- many things can go wrong. Thankfully, God is still willing to forgive us when we come to Him in repentance. This sexual sin does not ruin one's entire life forever. God can still bring restoration and forgiveness. The lives of those who fall to this sin are still infinitely important and valuable.

7. There is no difference between sexual abuse and sex before marriage in the sense that both are sins. That aside, of course there's a difference between these acts. Consent should certainly be in place before any sex act and it should come in the form of a two word phrase that both man and woman repeat before man and God- "I do". (And yes, even within the context of marriage, the husband and wife should have each other's consent before engaging in coitus. Your spouse is not your sex toy.)

If a woman is raped, then the man is guilty of rape. The woman is not guilty of pre-marital sex here. The Bible speaks to this point in Deuteronomy 22.

I agree that these teachings can and have been used to marginalize and subjugate women. This is not right.

The church needs to teach Biblical teachings on sexual purity and encourage love and respect for all people. There is no male or female in Christ- we are all one in Him. (Galatians 3:26)

Re: Gifted

       Have you ever had that experience, usually at Christmas, where you get a present that you honestly don't want? And then the gift winds up being given to someone else who promptly gives it to someone else. (Stereotypically, this item tends to be a fruitcake. ;-) Humorously, this is also a common feeling for a lot of Christian singles regarding what 1 Corinthians 7 refers to as "the gift of singleness". In relation to an earlier post I put regarding the topic of singleness, I wanted to offer this follow-up piece that is a reaction to a discussion with fellow Christian friends and singles who differ on how we regard singleness.
      To begin with, Genesis certainly teaches, through the example of God's own observation that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone (thus the creation of Eve), the general principle that humans are not meant to be alone. And marriage is one avenue for fulfilling that need- but it's not the only one and it shouldn't be the primary one. Ultimately, we should find completeness not in a spouse, but in Christ. That's our first and foremost relationship and that one informs and shapes all our other relationships. We also can find togetherness in community with the body of believers- our brothers and sisters in Christ in the church. And of course we also have our blood families as well and friends. The Eros (romantic) aspect of love is the one that we usually hear about and it generally overshadows the Philia (friendship) part of love. (Along with storge [familial] and agape [selfless; charity] For a good explanation of these ancient Greco-Christian terms, I highly recommend "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis. Of course, I also highly recommend everything else he wrote. :-))  
"To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it". - Lewis in "The Four Loves"
        There are two points others have raised about how to regard singleness that I would disagree with though, at least to some degree. While I can understand where some others are coming from who would argue this view, I'm not sure I would term "singleness" as a consequence of living in a fallen world. In a sense that could be true as the relationship we were meant to have with God is broken and we are cut off from that without the intervention of Jesus. Because of His death and Resurrection and our faith in Him, we can have a renewed relationship with God in the here and now and we will experience that fully as God originally intended at the Wedding Supper of The Lamb in Heaven, as described in Revelation 21-22. However, I would have to staunchly disagree with a notion that singleness is part of the curse of sin in the fall. I believe that would go against Christ's words in Matthew 19, where He says there are to whom being a eunuch is given and some make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of Heaven. I can't see part of the curse of sin jibing with doing something for the kingdom of Heaven.

                I know for singles we don't really like hearing the oft-repeated phrase that "singleness is a gift". I know it sure doesn't feel like one many times. (See this for proof. :-) http://babylonbee.com/news/local-woman-looking-return-gift-singleness/) To go back to my earlier analogy about Christmas gifts, sometimes it feels like that Christmas gift you've been waiting all year to get- and then in the midst of opening presents, you get that traditional gift of underwear. (At least as a kid, this was a tradition at my house. lol :-)) It's one of those things you never really appreciate much as a kid, but at least as you get older you can say, "Thank you" more and acknowledge that it is a necessary thing and it is still a gift, even if it's not really the fun gift you wanted. (When you get old enough to be on your own, you get really thankful for practical gifts like that because you find out how much stuff costs!)

         If I may, I wanted to offer my take on 1 Corinthians 7:7. When I read the verse in the larger context of the chapter, it reads to me that Paul is describing how some have the gift of marriage and some have the gift of singleness. If we acknowledge that God The Father makes some to be fit for marriage and some for singleness, then this would fit well with James 1:17 that tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from above, from The Father of lights, with Whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

        Even if we don't particularly desire to be single and don't really see it as much of a gift (like the aforementioned underwear at Christmas gift), we can appreciate it more as we get older sometimes [Both physically and spiritually in The Lord]. And we have to trust God with all of our lives and if that's where He has us for now, we can trust that He has a good plan in mind, even if we don't understand it. (Acts 17:26, Psalms 138 [especially verse 8]) We might also consider it like how some are gifted with different talents- whether it's drawing or singing (two of which I don't feel too gifted on- lol ;-) Not that it stops me from doing either one)- but both are good gifts regardless.

         This all may sound like cold comfort, but I do believe God has a good plan in mind for everyone and He has a purpose for all of us- and that includes our marital status. For me, I've never really been super worried about the whole dating and marriage thing until well into my late 20s or so- and it was around then that I started seeing (seemingly) all my siblings and cousins and friends getting married and so it felt like I should be doing likewise soon enough. But I had to come to a point where I told God that if He wants me to get married- cool. If He doesn't want me to get married- cool. I'm good either way. I still would like to get married if God leads me to the right woman, but I'll be alright if it doesn't happen too. God uses all of His people for His glory and we can bring glory to Him through both our singleness and our marriage- whichever status He brings us to in His time. And I do think there are advantages and drawbacks to both, as the rest of 1 Corinthians 7 outlines. (And don't get me wrong, because marriage is indeed awesome! Plenty of Bible verses attest to that- Proverbs 18:22, Ephesians 5, Proverbs 5:18, Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 19:14, Ecclesiastes 9:9, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 and others.) But marriage is temporary (Mark 12:18-27) and it's not going to solve all your problems and make your life totally happy all the time. There is the idolatry of marriage there we do need to be careful of falling into as well.

        In the end, we must accept whatever lot God has for us and learn to be content in all circumstances, as Philippians 4:10-20 counsels. (We can do [i.e. endure] all things through Christ who strengthens us. - as verse 13 famously says. Thus, let's do this!) And in all things, whether in word or deed, we must do it all for God's glory. (1 Corinthians 10:31) Of course, we can pray and ask God for a spouse and trust that He may choose to give us that heart's desire. (ala Psalms 37:1-4, as we continue to delight in Him first and trust whatever He gives us.) And whether it happens or not, as Jesus consoles us, for everyone who's left house, land, brothers, sisters, father, mother and even wife/husband and children- for His sake and for The Gospel's sake- (see Matthew 19 and Mark 10 in the KJV), they will receive a hundredfold now in this time-with persecutions- and in the age to come eternal life.

          If you have the time, you may enjoy checking out this sermon from David Platt on this topic. It's very powerful and well worth the watch- He speaks a lot of great points on the topic of marriage and singleness (focusing on singleness, by the way). I found it very helpful and encouraging.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVq0mwhu2gQ

          Whatever your marital status may be, I hope you will be encouraged to continue to seek God's glory above all in singleness or marriage and that God would grant you strength to endure the hardships that come with both and the peace to enjoy the benefits that come with both as well. 

Single-Minded

         "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22)
"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:7-9)
(And just to clarify, I'm speaking as a single man.)
            Marriage is awesome! Of course, marriage is also a ton of hard work! Marriage can actually have some pretty awful, strifeful moments at times and seem horrendous! But the vow of love before God helps hold a man and woman together and a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (as Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 talks about.) If The Lord decides to let me have a wife- cool. If The Lord decides for me to remain single- cool. As Romans 14:8 says, whether I live or die- I'm The Lord's- I live and die to Him.
        As to all the business about being called to be single and such- I know Jesus refers to this some in Matthew 19. And I don't know that I feel "called" to be single (I don't know that I feel particularly "called" to anything other than called to obey God and preach The Gospel, as God commands in His Word in The Bible)- but I do know that whether I feel called to be celibate or not, I sure better be celibate as long as I'm single because sex outside of marriage is a sin.
        So I can understand the despair and discouragement and despondency and depression (wow- a lot of "d" words are rather dreary....) for the unwilling single person- I go through that some at times myself. But I honestly usually don't care- it's not that I particularly desire to be single or whatever- I would like to be married to the right woman someday- but until such time that God grants me a wife, I'll be a single virgin man who seeks to serve Christ with all his heart, soul, mind and strength even though he fails miserably quite often but still keeps trusting Jesus to work in him as Philippians 1:6 promises that Jesus will do until I'm there with Him in Heaven.
         Here's another "d" word that's a bit more cheery- Delight yourself in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4) Which doesn't necessarily mean that you'll get married. It may mean that you truly do find your joy solely in The Lord (Nehemiah 8:10) and that you're not really all that worried about getting married.
         And let's not make marriage to be more than it is. Our society in the world at large tends to worship it to some degree and elevate it to a wrong status. If we're looking to marriage to fulfill all of our longings and desires for company and companionship, we're going to be sorely disappointed when we finally get it. Jesus Christ is the only One who truly can fulfill all desires of the heart- but even that will not be fully realized until we're in Heaven.
          So I just try to keep my focus on Jesus and not worry too much about marriage and such- there's no marriage in Heaven anyway [in the sense of a man and woman uniting as one before God], so why should I worry about the mistful vapor years I've got on Earth with that when I've got eternity ahead of me with more important things of the Kingdom to consider? (Not to say that marriage on earth is not important though- as I said before, it's awesome! And it can be pretty horrible at times too. It's certainly never easy.) But there is the marriage supper of The Lamb in Heaven, so I'm glad to be on the invitation list for that. And yes- the church is the bride of Christ, but it really doesn't work too well for single men to say Jesus is my husband. wink emoticon But He is my Lord, Savior and Best Friend Forever (yes- He really is my BFF and yes, I really made that cultural reference- lol) :-) and that's the most important thing.
          And I must say I really thank Him for family and friends and brothers and sisters in Christ who remind me of the fellowship that we all enjoy together in Christ now and will enjoy eternally and more so than we've ever experienced here when we all get to Heaven. :-)
           So just remember God loves you and it'll be alright. And take your pain and loneliness to The Lord- Job and David and Habakkuk and Hannah and Naomi and Jeremiah and tons of others sure weren't shy about it- and God knows all of our needs and He will provide for them all according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19) He may not provide all our wants, but it may be that He'll help us learn to be content in all situations (as Philippians 4 talks about right before that famous verse in 13- the one about how I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me- the one that might be better read as I can endure all things through Christ who strengthens me.) And don't forget that those who have given up families for Christ's sake in this life will receive 100-fold times in the next. I think sometimes God is saying to us- I want you to want Me. :-) And that's no cheap trick- look at all that God has done for us- He wants us so badly He went to Hell and back for us when Christ died and rose to pay for our sins! 1 Corinthians 10:31 commands us to do everything as unto The Lord and not just unto men. Thus, whatever I do, I want to be single-minded in purpose as I focus on bringing God glory. If I can do that better as a married man, praise God! If I can do that better as a single man, praise God! :-) (God is praised always regardless.)
I know I don't want God as much as I should- but I want to want Him and want nothing else. And I pray as Thomas Merton did that even that in itself is pleasing to Him. And He'll take care of the rest, as Keith Green said.
         Hope those ramblings help someone else who was born a rambling man (or a rambling woman, as the case may be.) Take care and God bless.

Relient K- "Collapsible Lung" album review

Relient K- “Collapsible Lung” review

        Let me say a few things to preface this deal. I LOVE Relient K! I have been a fan of this band since its first major label album in 2000 and I still am. I have seen them in concert a couple of times and I’d LOVE to go see them play again. I LOVE all the albums and this one is certainly no exception. In short, I LOVE this album. This is an incredibly honest view of society today, of love and values and perhaps also a reflection of the spiritual journey the lead singer’s been through lately. As a rule, Matt Thiessen has most always written songs based on his own experiences and I would say that may well be what the songs on this album represent.
         In keeping with the last album released, no lyrics are included with the actual CD release. (Bummer- but oh well.) For those who don’t have the benefit of having the physical CD release, let me note a few things that may be of help to know. I know that the band apparently got a lot of outside help on this album in co-writing songs and such. I don’t know how much lyrics were brought in from outside writers or not, but here’s the breakdown according to the CD.
“Don’t Blink” by Matthew Hoopes and Matthew Thiessen
“Boomerang” by Matthew Thiessen, Evan Bogart and Ari Levine
“Lost Boy” by Matthew Thiessen, Greg Wattenberg, Matt Musto, Derek Fuhrman
“If I Could Take You Home” by Matthew Thiessen, Matthew Hoopes, Fernando Garribay
“Can’t Complain” by Matthew Thiessen, Brian Lee and Emily Wright
“Gloria” by Matthew Thiessen, Matthew Hoopes, Tim Pagnotta and Ari Levine
“PTL” by Matthew Thiessen, Caleb Owens and Matt Musto
“Disaster” by Matthew Thiessen
“When You Were My Baby” by Matthew Thiessen, Matthew Hoopes and Caleb Owens
“Sweeter” by Matthew Thiessen and Caleb Owens
“Collapsible Lung” by Matthew Thiessen and Matthew Hoopes

Once again, the band has a joint statement of thanks printed.
“We would like to thank God for the opportunity to make music. We would also like to sincerely thank our friends, families & loved ones, as well as every person involved in the making of this record.”

They still clearly thank God for all He has done and they clearly acknowledge His presence and working in the songs as well. Let me also say this- Relient K is still just a band and they’re just musicians trying to live their lives for Christ. And they sometimes fail as we all do. Thank God for His grace given to us through Jesus! So I don’t know all the details of all their lives and I don’t stand in judgment on them. I’m not going to try to speculate on what may or may not have been or is going on in their lives. I’m just going to try to look for clues in the song lyrics and see what each may be driving at- I could be wrong in my interpretation of course- and I certainly could be reading too much into things- but here are the things I pick up from the “Collapsible Lung” album. (I think it may be easiest to post the lyrics for each song for the purposes of analysis, so that is what I will do with this.)

“Don’t Blink” – I like that this is the first song on the album. I think it kicks things off well and perhaps is a throwback to where we left things at the end of the “Forget and Not Slow Down” album. I view this song as a statement of resolve; a song that makes a declarative statement- to forget and not slow down- but at the same time- don’t blink because you might miss life along the way. I think it’s perhaps also reflective of the singer’s plan to get back to where he was in following God before and trust that His forgiveness and grace will carry him forward once again.
       The lyrics are telling-

“Don't know where to go from here
My thoughts are tangled twisted fears
Been waiting a while now on the dawn
Seems like the sun may never come

I made my way through the darkest night
To the break of day on the other side
For some time the light's been creeping in
Now I'm feeling like I could trust again

You're the only Person who reminds me
Love is beautiful and true
Life is beautiful and new
Oh, You're the only Person who reminds me

Hold on now
Don't you blink or it's gone
I've been terrified of life for way too long
Oh, no now don't you blink or it's gone
In another life who knows what we'd become?

Love is beautiful and true
Life is beautiful and new

Been making plans and drawing maps
I plan to take the righteous path
And hope and pray it leads me back
To all the happiness I had

Been making lists and crossing off
Every kiss that wasn't love
And every word that stretched the truth
Like when she said she loved me
You're the only person who reminds me

Hold on now
Don't you blink or it's gone
I've been terrified of life for way too long
Oh, no now don't you blink or it's gone
In another life who knows what we'd become?

Hold on now
Don't you blink or it's gone
Oh oh oh oh
Oh, no now don't you blink or it's gone
In another life who knows what we'd become?

Love is beautiful and true
Life is beautiful and new

Been making lists and crossing off
Every kiss that wasn't love
And every word that stretched the truth
Like when she said she loved me”

-In the first two paragraphs, it is reminiscent to me of Psalms 23 –
 “I made my way through the darkest night
To the break of day on the other side
For some time the light's been creeping in
Now I'm feeling like I could trust again”
- “Yea though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil for Thou art with me. Thy rod and Thy staff- they comfort me.” (Psalms 23:4)
Now, I could be off, but I really think this song (and album) is reflecting on the singer’s attempts to find meaning, peace and security in human relationships (particularly romantic boyfriend/girlfriend relationships)- and finding that even the best of human relationships fails. I think this is a song where he’s coming back to God and finding the incredibly true and hopeful realization that- after everyone else fails and abandons me- “You’re the only Person who reminds me Love is beautiful and true
Life is beautiful and new -Oh, You're the only Person who reminds me.” And of course, Jesus is Love. And He is beautiful and true and new. He’s the only One who can really give us true love and true life. Then we have an exhortation to hold on and not blink- but rather enjoy life because “The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away- may The Name of The Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21) “In another life, who knows what we’d become?” –I think this line could work either way- possibly a reference to the new eternal life we’ll have with Jesus in Heaven, but also a reference to another life path where we walk with Jesus at the forefront of our relationship- and we could have a much better relationship with Him there in the center.
“Been making plans and drawing maps
I plan to take the righteous path
And hope and pray it leads me back
To all the happiness I had

Been making lists and crossing off
Every kiss that wasn't love
And every word that stretched the truth
Like when she said she loved me”

 

-Love these lines! I think this is where we see the singer’s resolve to “take the righteous path” – the one that leads to life instead of the broad one that leads to death. (See Matthew 7.) And he hopes and prays it will lead him back to all the happiness he had. And because of 1 John 1:9, we know that God is always willing to forgive us and take us back when we truly come to Him in repentance and confess our sins to Him- I think the close relationship with God is “the happiness” the singer had and taking “the righteous path” will definitely lead him back to it. I love that he is also casting off falsehood- including every kiss that wasn’t love and every word that stretched the truth. None of these women that he had shallow relationships with truly loved him- but the God who loved the whole world so much that He gave us Jesus to die on the cross and rise again to pay for our sins- still loves him dearly- and He’s the only One who truly loves him the most.
        So I see this song as a hopeful declaration of resolve- a song of trust in Jesus. :-)

“Boomerang”-  Now from this part of the album forward- this is where many people seem to have so many questions about the intent and meaning of the songs. However, I don’t hear anything sexually explicit or objectionable for that reason in these songs. And here is a key other thing I don’t hear in any of these songs- I don’t hear any of them advocating any of the things we know are wrong in these songs. If anything, they should serve as cautionary tales- just like when we read about King David and his adultery with Bathsheba, which led to his subsequent murder of her husband Uriah. (1 Kings 11) In fact, I would say one of the overriding themes of this album is, “Don’t make the same mistakes that I did- learn from what happened to me and make the right choices.” Look through this whole album and notice how many times the singer indicates that what he was doing was wrong and that he shouldn’t have been doing it (and neither should you.)   With that in mind, let’s look at the rest of the songs.

“Hey, I try to run away
But everywhere I turn, I turn around
And you're right back in my face
And everything you say
I can't get away from you
I just can't escape

Cause you're at my favorite bar
Your hoodie's in my car
The smell of your Chanel 5 won't die hard
Yeah I don't stand a chance
You're hanging with my friends
When I see you again that's when it starts

We break just like it ain't no thing
But we ridin' on a boomerang
Our love is like a rubber band
Snap back, snap back
Here we go again

Snap back, snap back
Here we go again
Snap back, snap back
Here we go again

Hey, already on the way
End up at your place when I should be driving home
Girl what was I thinking
Girl what was I drinking
Trying to tell myself that it can't be wrong

You were at my favorite bar
Your hoodie's in my car
The smell of your Chanel 5 won't die hard
Yeah I don't stand a chance
You're hanging with my friends
When I see you again that's when it starts

We break just like it ain't no thing
But we ridin' on a boomerang
Our love is like a rubber band
Snap back, snap back
Here we go again

Snap back, snap back
Here we go again
Snap back, snap back
Here we go again

We break just like it ain't no thing
But we ridin' on a boomerang
Our love is like a rubber band
Snap back, snap back
Here we go again

We break just like it ain't no thing
But we ridin' on a boomerang
Our love is like a rubber band
Snap back, snap back
Here we go again

We break just like it ain't no thing
But we ridin' on a boomerang
Our love is like a rubber band
Snap back, snap back
Here we go again”

-I think the chorus is the main kicker on this one. When you’re “riding on a boomerang” and your love “is like a rubber band” always snapping back- that’s not a good picture of love. Love is true and faithful. (See 1 Corinthians 13). It always perseveres and never fails.
But let’s be honest- her good looks are alluring. Her perfume- her clothes- everything about her. She’s hanging at the singer’s favorite hang-out with his friends. But then the singer says, “End up at your place when I should be driving home. Girl, what was I thinking? What was I drinking? – Trying to tell myself it can’t be wrong.”
He knows he shouldn’t be doing it- but yet he finds himself drawn in anyway (since “he can’t escape”.) And so he’s giving in- but he’s aware of the situation enough to know that it’s wrong and know that their love that keeps snapping back and forth is not a picture of real love.
(One last caveat on this, since it comes up again and is a sticking point for many Christians- yes, I wish he wasn’t drinking too-in general, I don’t think it’s a good idea. However, Jesus drank wine with His disciples- in fact, his first miracle recorded was turning water into wine. I choose to be a teetotaler myself- but I can’t judge anyone who chooses to imbibe. The Bible doesn’t say it’s wrong to drink alcohol- in fact, it even seems to encourage it in some places. (Proverbs 30 and 1 Timothy 5:23) However, The Bible does says that getting drunk is a sin- Ephesians 5:18.) So drink if you choose to do so- but don’t be a bad example or stumbling block for Christian brothers or unbelievers. And if you don’t believe in drinking- don’t judge those who choose to do so because of their freedom in Christ!) And again- he never advocates drinking in any case- but at least he’s honest enough to say this is the state he was at in the song- and from the context of the songs, he was probably using drinking to help heal the hurt in his heart- again, a hurt that only the Holy Ghost can heal.

“Lost Boy”-

Wow! The title alone evokes metaphorical references. And yes- I certainly have to mention Jesus’ parable of The Prodigal Son in Luke 15. (Remember that this parable comes after Christ’s parable of the lost sheep and the lost coin- and thus, this parable is also sometimes referred to as “The Lost Son”.) I think this is yet another startingly honest admittance- the singer was lost, having strayed off the narrow path. And he needed the Shepherd of our souls to pull him back to the righteous path.

“You had a baby you were seventeen years old
I was on the road trying to make it my home
You had a man but he wasn't no good to ya
I was with women I didn't know

Foot loose, Fancy free
Pretty lady won't you dance with me
'Cause one look from your eyes and
I knew that it was right this time

Before you came around
I couldn't figure out
Where I was going
I was wandering wandering
Wandering around
Before I found my way
I was running like a stray

And I was a lost boy
Just a lost boy
Before you came around

Sweet country baby you were singing at the airport
Raking in tips with the heel of your boot
I must have passed you by a hundred times
Before cupid saw it fit to let me dance with you

Foot loose, fancy free
Pretty lady won't you dance with me
'Cause one look from your eyes and
I knew that it was right this time

Before you came around
I couldn't figure out
Where I was going
I was wandering wandering
Wandering around
Before I found my way
I was running like a stray

And I was a lost boy
Just a lost boy
Before you came around
I was a lost boy
Just a lost boy

Before you came around
I couldn't figure out
Where I was going
I was wandering wandering
Wandering around
Before I found my way
I was running like a stray

And I was a lost boy
Just a lost boy

Before you came around
Before you came around
Before you came around

-Notice again that the singer freely admits he was “with women he didn’t know”. And though perhaps he thought this girl was the one and maybe he truly thought she was the right one, I get the feeling that he was left with disappointment once again. Of course, I also get the feeling that the chorus repeated the last time could be read as a statement to God- a statement of our lostness before He came around and found us. That’s a vulnerable statement to make- but a necessary one in our road to recovery and restoration and reconciliation with God.

“If I Could Take You Home”
-Here we have a song where the singer recounts yet another disappoint in relationships. And it seems like he’s saying though she’s his Katherine, he’ll be her Petruchio and tame her. After all, “if he could take you home”- then things would be different. Perhaps he could try to “be all that she needs”- but is she really all that he needs?


“I hear the words that you're telling me
Taking about all this tragedy
You've got everything
When you're close to me

You're all around
You're surrounding me
Intoxicated by the air you breathe
You've got everything
With me
Oh oh

Like broken pieces of a shattered dream
Or like a movie with a missing scene
You'd like you believe
I'm nothing special

But if I could take you home
If I could take you home
If I could take you home
I'll be all that you need

The trail of broken hearts you left behind
Should send me running girl
But I don't mind
It's not up to me
Where you sleep
oh oh

But you're so good at making casualties
Inflicting pain rather casually
It's easy to see
You'd do it to me
Oh oh

Like broken pieces of a shattered dream
Or like a movie with a missing scene
You'd like to believe
I'm nothing special

But if I could take you home
If I could take you home
If I could take you home
I'll be all that you need

If I could take you home (Oh whoa oh)
If I could take you home (Oh whoa oh)
If I could take you home (Oh whoa oh)
Oh whoa oh
You think I'm nothing special
But if I could take you home (Oh whoa oh)

Oh whoa oh
Oh whoa oh
Oh whoa oh
Oh whoa oh

If I could take you home
If I could take it slow(Oh whoa oh)
If I could let you know
If I could make you see
That I'll be all that you need (Oh whoa oh)
Oh whoa oh

You think I'm nothing special
But If I could take you home
If I could take you home
If I could take you home
I'll be all that you need

If I could take you home (Oh whoa oh)
If I could take it slow (Oh whoa oh)
If I could let you know (Oh whoa oh)
Oh whoa oh
You think I'm nothing special
But If I could take you home (Oh whoa oh)
Oh whoa oh
I'll be all that you need (Oh whoa oh)”

 

-I think it’s worth noting that the singer acknowledges that it’s “not up to him where she sleeps”. He even admits that she “inflicts pain so casually” and “leaves a trail of broken hearts behind her”. And on top of that- “she thinks he’s nothing special”. So why is he so wanting to take her home again? The false bravado and swagger here belies to me both a bit of naivete and some optimism that somehow he can be the one to make it work. Another song that seems destined to end in failure.

“Can’t Complain”

-Now this one is particularly interesting to me. On the surface, it seems to be conveying a Biblical message- and I would definitely agree with that part. “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” (Philippians 2:14) “Don’t worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.” (Jesus in Matthew 6). “Teach us to number the days aright, Lord.” (see Psalms 90:12)
There are a lot of other verses I could mention as well. This is a good, Biblical message in general in itself. However, maybe there’s something deeper past the surface…


“Looking at the cop in the rear view mirror
Probably should have stopped but the crosswalk was clear
I'll just imagine it's a ticket to a Broadway show

Looking at the clouds and they seem kinda funny
Probably gonna rain but my outlook is sunny
I'll just imagine that I'm laying out in Mexico

Cause I know that pleasures gotta come with pain
And I know that things won't always go my way
And I know that life is gonna suck some days

But I can't complain
I can't complain
Every days too short to let it go to waste

Now I can't complain
I can't complain
You gotta treat every day like a holiday

And I'm telling you
That I know some days I'm gonna stumble
And I know the cookie's gonna crumble
And I know that life is gonna suck some days
But I can't complain

Waiting on a never ending train at the crossing
Paying it no mind cause you just keep talking
We'll just imagine it's the good old days and take it slow

Spending Christmas Eve on the floor of the airport
Dying to get back to the people that I care for
Smiling just dreaming about my puppy in my bed back home

Cause I know that pleasures gotta come with pain
And I know that things won't always go my way
And I know that life is gonna suck some days

But I can't complain
I can't complain
Every days too short to let it go to waste

Now I can't complain
I can't complain
You gotta treat every day like a holiday

And I'm telling you
That I know some days I'm gonna stumble
And I know the cookie's gonna crumble
And I know that life is gonna suck some days

If you can't say nothing good
Don't say nothing
If you stop to think you could come up with something
That makes you feel so good when times are rough it's ok

I can't complain
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Don't let it go to waste

Now I can't complain
I can't complain
Every days too short to let it go to waste

Now I can't complain
I can't complain
You gotta treat every day like a holiday

And I'm telling you
That I know some days I'm gonna stumble
And I know the cookie's gonna crumble
And I know that life is gonna suck some days
But I can't complain”

-Well, in general it sounds like an optimistic tune to me and I like that. However, it could also be a tone of noncommital acceptance- something that says that things in life are going to just happen- and we can’t do anything about them- so we should just accept things with a shrug and a smile and move on. This amounts to a lackadaisical attitude to me and I don’t think that’s right. Don’t just accept that life has to be the way it is, full of personal failures and relationship disappointments. Jesus can put all of those relationships right! Don’t turn to apathy- turn to Him!
(Also, this song unfortunately uses a word I don’t like to use in that capacity and I’m sure you know which I mean. I wish they hadn’t but I know a number of people don’t find it to be such a bad word- and certainly not nearly on the level of a curse word. I’m not saying that it is- but I am saying that I wish they had used a word like “stink” instead- which conveys the same meaning without possible sexual connotations- of course, perhaps it’s appropriate for this album, in that case.)

“Gloria”
-Relient K showcases its trademark wit in this song. And what a great sense of irony! The word “gloria” itself is used in the title of two classic Christian songs- hymns of praise. (“Gloria in Excelsis Deo” [i.e. Glory to God in the highest] and “Gloria Patri”. [“Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.”] And this Gloria isn’t living up to her name in giving God glory with the way she lives her life, particularly in this relationship.

I never know whatcha
You're keeping me in the dark
You've got your fast moves and
You've got your one two's and
I could never let down my guard

You say you can never do better than me
Aye gloria what's come over ya
Why don't you teach me how to

Why don't you teach me how to love
Why don't you show me what's up
I got the shakes and your my drug
Why don't you teach me how to
Why don't you teach me how to fight
Cause when you're wrong you're always right
You've got a lot of nerve, I've got a lot to learn
Why don't you teach me how to
Why don't you teach me how to love

Telling lies, swatting kisses like their flies
Doing everything I can to survive
Keep me in the cold, raking me over the coals
You either freeze me or burn me alive

Cause You say you can never do better than me
Aye gloria, I'm kinda sore would ya
Why don't you keep me up

Why don't you teach me how to love
Why don't you show me what's up
I got the shakes and your my drug
Why don't you teach me how to
Why don't you teach me how to fight
Cause when you're wrong you're always right
You've got a lot of nerve, I've got a lot to learn
Why don't you teach me how to
Why don't you teach me how to love

I guess it's love, flower petals everywhere
I guess it's love, runnin' fingers through your hair
I guess it's love when you tell me what to wear
I guess it's love when you're goin' through my phone
I guess it's love when I can't go out alone
I guess it's love when you got me feelin' low
Why don't you teach me how to
Why don't you show me how to
Why don't you teach me how to

Why don't you teach me how to love
Why don't you show me what's up
I got the shakes and your my drug
Why don't you teach me how to
Why don't you teach me how to fight
Cause when you're wrong you're always right
You've got a lot of nerve, I've got a lot to learn
Why don't you show me how to
Why don't you teach me how to
Why don't you show me how to
Why don't you teach me how to love”

 

-I think the key to understanding this song is knowing that it’s meant to be sarcastic.

Gloria is “telling lies” and “keeping him in the dark”. Yet “she’s his drug”. So it must be love when she’s controlling and not trusting (going through his phone) and keeping him feeling low. The song at that point is really an antithesis of the picture of love God paints in 1 Corinthians 13.
This song showcases yet another relationship that is definitely not real love.

“PTL”

-Again we have a song title that seems to evoke Christian imagery. “PTL” is a fairly common abbreviation in many Christian denominations for “Praise The Lord”. I kinda wonder if both this and the last song title are meant to be ironic.

“There was a time when I was scared of nothing
Nothing can touch you if you don't look back
I walked away from every good thing that I had

By the time I met you it was 12 past midnight
Told you I'd be the best you never had
You said "Are you serious?"
I said like a heart attack

But it was far too late before I figured it out.
I never meant to be your, I never meant to be your
One night, one mistake.

I never meant to be your part-time lover
Then again I've never been a full-time man
Never thought it'd hurt so bad to see you with another
Guess I'm the fool that ya, ya think I am

I never called you like I know I should of
Thought I could save you for a rainy day
I bet the sun was shining when I let you slip away

But it was far too late before I figured it out
I bet the sun was shining, I never meant to be your
One night, one mistake

I never meant to be your part-time lover
Then again I've never been a full-time man
Never thought it'd hurt so bad to see you with another
Guess I'm the fool that ya, ya think I am

I never meant to be your part-time lover (part-time lover)
Then again I've never been a full-time man
Never thought it'd hurt so bad to see you with another
Guess I'm the fool that ya (Guess I'm the fool that ya)

I never meant to be your part-time lover
Then again I've never been a full-time man
Never thought it'd hurt so bad to see you with another
Guess I'm the fool that ya, ya think I am

I never meant to be your fool
I never meant to be your fool
I walked away from every good thing that I had”

- We can clearly see some of Matt Thiessen’s classic wordplay lyrics in the chorus here. “I never meant to be your part-time lover- Then again I’ve never been a full-time man”….
And then the singer goes on to admit that he guesses “he’s the fool that she thinks he is.” He “never meant to be her one night, one mistake.” And it hurts when he realizes that the relationship is not what he thought it was- it isn’t the committed full time thing he wants, especially when he “sees her with another”. And once again, he notes that he “walked away from every good thing that he had.”
But as David sought the restoration of his relationship with The Lord in Psalms 51 (and received it)- the singer can still walk back to his good relationship with The Lord as well- and of course, “every good thing” and “every perfect gift” comes from above- from The Lord. (as James 1:17 tells us.)

 

 

“Disaster”
-Okay, I don’t know how much more clear the theme can be made than in this title. The singer clearly says that his relationship with this girl “has disaster written all over it.” It’s a very honest confession here in this song.

 

“I was spending all my time falling in love
Should’ve known better, but it's so much fun when I'm with you
And there’s a missing person poster hanging up at the bar
Cause I, I've got a girl
I think we're in love
But oh for how long
It's got disaster written all over
So don't nobody show her
Our horoscope headline- disaster
Written all over it

Oh you didn't no no you didn't
Did you pull out the wires make a man out of me

I'm trying to figure out if life’s worth living without you
Hope I never have to
The stars could align or explode in the sky
Oh disaster

Baby, you look so sexy so what do I do when
We get home from church and the baby
Is in her room sleeping or watching a movie
You get closer to me
Oh this has disaster written all over it

I'm trying to figure out if life’s worth living without you
Hope I never have to
The stars could align or explode in the sky
If I already know about all the things that would bring us down
Then I'd react a bit faster
I'm averting disaster one day at a time

Disaster, disaster, disaster, disaster.

Won't you pull out the wires make a man out of me

I'm trying to figure out if life’s worth living without you
Hope I never have to
It could be disaster if I don't even try
If I already know about all the things that would bring us down
Then I'd react a bit faster
I'm averting disaster one day at a time

Disaster, disaster, disaster, disaster

-So even though the singer and this girl are still going to church, they’re coming home to a baby that may have been born out of wedlock. (That part isn’t exactly clear.) What is clear is that the singer says that the whole thing is a disaster. He’s trying to “avert it by reacting a bit faster”. That way, he can “avert disaster one day at a time”. Interestingly, he says he “spent all his time falling in love”. And once he found this girl, now “there’s a missing person poster hanging up at the bar”. So he goes from drowning his sorrows in beer to drowning his sorrows in a relationship with this girl- and he comes to the conclusion that it’s a disaster. When he’s “trying to figure out if life’s worth living without her” and “hopes he never has to”- I wonder if this line might also be reflective of trying to live life without God- and the answer is that nothing really satisfies without God. In fact, life without God is just a disaster. (see Psalms 32).

“When You Were My Baby”

-We have here a song of lament, where the singer sadly recalls how good things were “when she was his baby”- when he had a good relationship with this girl and everything felt right. I think this song is simply a song of lament for the good relationship he had when things were right with him and his girl and his God.

“I still remember what happened
Yeah, I know right where I was
The sky was looking overcast
On the outskirts of love

That's when you said keep on driving
Although the sun's gonna set
You said you had to see how far we could take this
Yeah, how far we could get

When you were my baby
Whoa-oh
Must've done something to change me
Whoa-oh
Cause nothing ever seemed to faze me
Till tonight
Thinking when you were my baby and the whole wide world was mine

I woke up this morning
Aching for you
Roll over, try to sleep it off
Till late afternoon
They say that it's better
If you love and lost
Maybe if I stay away from you
I'd be better off now

When you were my baby
Whoa-oh
Must've done something to change me
Whoa-oh
Cause nothing ever seemed to faze me
Till tonight
Thinking when you were my baby and the whole wide world was

Spinning around us
Trouble never found us
Wish I had it now
But the whole wide world
It never beams bright and
Never feels as right and
It's killing me tonight just thinking

When you were my baby
Whoa-oh
Must've done something to change me
Whoa-oh
Cause nothing ever seemed to faze me
Till tonight
Thinking when you were my baby the world

When you were my baby
Whoa-oh
Must've done something to change me
Whoa-oh
It never seemed to faze me
Till tonight
Thinking when you were my baby and the whole wide world was”

- I notice that “the whole wide world never beams bright and never feels as right”- when she is no longer the singer’s baby. Back then, “nothing seemed to faze him”, but now he’s having to face life without her. And again, we have a reminder of the emptiness of basing all your happiness and joy on a romantic relationship with a girl. Only God truly satisfies. (Psalms 42).

 

“Sweeter”
-This song really says it pretty well and plainly. The singer sings about this girl that is sweeter than sugar but still leaves a sour taste in your mouth. The problem is- the singer can’t see “the trouble he’s in” with this girl. And once again, we are reminded that a wrong relationship will just bring us heartache in the end.

 

“She looks good in your clothes
Climbing up the staircase
Back to bed you go again
Even when her eyes are closed
Can't keep from staring
Oh, the trouble you got in

She's a memory
She's an apparition,
Fogging up my vision
But I don't pay no mind

She's sweeter than sugar
Till the sun goes down
Don't allow her to sour
Just spit her out
Believe me, she will leave a bad taste in your mouth
Can't drink enough to wash her down

Wonder if she knows
That I know where she goes
When she says she's with her friends
Yeah, everything grows old
Can't try to stop it
All comes to a bitter end
But I don't pay no mind

She's sweeter than sugar
Till the sun goes down
Don't allow her to sour
Just spit her out
Believe me, she'll leave a bad taste in your mouth
Can't drink enough to wash her down
Wash her down

She's a memory
She's an apparition,
Fogging up my vision
But I don't pay no mind

She's sweeter than sugar
Till the sun goes down
Don't allow her to sour
Just spit her out
Believe me, she'll leave a bad taste in your mouth
Can't drink enough to wash her down
Wash her down”

-I think it’s interesting that the singer says “she’s an apparition fogging up my vision”. (Particularly since he makes a specific reference to The Holy Ghost in the following song- perhaps this is a comparison of the girl to another spirit- but here representing an evil spirit, rather than The Holy Spirit. I don’t mean to demonize the girl here, but just to make the comparison regarding the unBiblical relationship.) “Don’t allow her to sour- just spit her out. Believe me, she’ll leave a bad taste in your mouth- Can’t drink enough to wash her down.” Here we have a clear warning from the singer to stay away from such women and such relationships that don’t conform to the rules for sexuality that God set down in His Word. (Again, the drinking issue comes up here, but to be fair- that doesn’t have to refer to alcohol. Even if it does, it’s still true- you can’t drink enough alcohol to wash her down- or to remedy the heart situation.) The phrasing saying “she’ll leave a bad taste in your mouth” also brings to mind this truth from The Bible- “Bread obtained by falsehood is sweet to a man,
but afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel.” (Proverbs 20:17)


“Collapsible Lung”

-Here we have the conclusion of the matter. This last track on the album echoes the resolve of the first track (“Don’t Blink”). It’s a song of confession asking for God to extend His grace once more again. It’s an acknowledgement of how much we all need God and how nothing else really satisfies without Him.

“Between the miles of open road
I lost sight of what might matter the most
I stumbled into the great unknown and found
That time won't slow down

I'm getting by with my collapsible lung
And it's a good time 100% of the time
And I'm like a ladder with a missing rung
And it's a slow climb headed back to the sky
And I'm feelin' backwards when I'm trying the most
And I hope haven't heard the last words from The Holy Ghost
Cause I think that I'm supposed to be
Well on my way by now

I'll do the twist with my replaceable hips
And turn you right round
Then dip you down to the ground
And now I wanna grow old and rub your tired limbs
And take it easy
Until we wither away
Until we wither away

Between the miles of open road
I lost sight of what might matter the most
I stumbled into the great unknown and found
That time can't slow down

To take a breath and then take it in
To think of places I'll go I haven't been
To pour my heart into everything I've found
Time won't slow down

Feelin' backwards
And I hope haven't heard the last words
No, no, no
Cause I think that I'm supposed to be
Well on my way-eh-eh!
Eh eh!
Wooo'
To pour my heart into everything I found

Between the miles of open road
I lost sight of what might matter the most
I stumbled into the great unknown and found
That time won't slow down

To take a breath and then take it in
To think of places I'll go I haven't been”

 

-“Between the miles of open road”, the singer “stumbled into the great unknown” and “found that time won’t slow down”. Along the way, he “lost sight of what might matter the most”. I think this is a confession of how he fell away from God- from Who really matters the most. He’s “getting by with his collapsible lung”- an acknowledgement of the frailty of human beings. (Psalms 8). And though “it’s a slow climb back to the sky”- back to God- he keeps pressing on, even though he’s “feeling backwards when he’s trying the most”- and he “hopes he hasn’t heard the last words from The Holy Ghost”. He concludes that he “thinks he’s supposed to be well on his way by now.” When he mentions the part about “doing the twist with his replaceable hips”, I think he’s now talking about the image of a relationship he really wants to have- a lifelong commitment of marriage- to have the woman beside him who is his wife, who he can “grow old with and rub her tired limbs”- "until we wither away". (Until death do us part.). He wants “to pour his heart into everything he’s found”, “to take a breath and then take it in” and “to think of places he’ll go he hasn’t been”. I think this works on both the physical level as far as relationships here on Earth go, but also on the spiritual level- to the places he’ll go in his walk with Christ. That’s what really matters the most in both the first place and end place.
- Here then is the crux of the entire album, I think. ”Vanity! Vanity! Everything is vanity! Says the Preacher.” (Ecclesiastes 1:1). Everything is meaningless- without God. “The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. ¹⁴ For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)
This whole album is like a musical version of Ecclesiastes in so many ways for me. In the end, the singer is still holding to his faith in God and realizes that the only real satisfaction comes from obeying God and following Him. And I love the honesty of the musical journey that takes us to that point to realize that. Amen! Only Jesus satisfies. :-)

“That’s My Jam”

-And for the deep spiritual meaning of this song…….um, I don’t think there is any. It’s just plain fun! :-)
(Proverbs 12:25, 17:22)

 

“Turn up the record cause the song's just begun
I'm smashing pumpkins like it's November 1
Wish britney'd hit me one more time on the phone
So tired of counting crows with Mr. Jones
My sister hazel knows that it's all for you
Am I a blur or do you sing my song 2?

Ooh ooh ooh summertime
Ooh ooh ooh back in '99
Ooh ooh ooh ooh our first dance
Ooh ooh ooh that's my jam

Jane's addicted and Alice is in chains
U2 like to move me in mysterious ways
We're chasing waterfalls and wonder-walls
My jewel, you were meant for me so save my soul
Add seven Mary three plus 98 degrees
Eve 6 times 311, that's you and me

Ooh ooh ooh summertime
Ooh ooh ooh back in '99
Ooh ooh ooh ooh our first dance
Ooh ooh ooh that's my jam

This blessed union of collective souls
Is the only world we know
This heart-shaped candle box burns for you alone
You outta know

Ooh ooh ooh summertime
Ooh ooh ooh feelin' so sublime
Ooh ooh ooh ooh boy ii man
Ooh ooh ooh my pearl jam

Ooh ooh ooh summertime
Ooh ooh ooh back in '99
Ooh ooh ooh ooh take my hand
Ooh ooh ooh baby, you're my jam”