Single-Minded

         "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22)
"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:7-9)
(And just to clarify, I'm speaking as a single man.)
            Marriage is awesome! Of course, marriage is also a ton of hard work! Marriage can actually have some pretty awful, strifeful moments at times and seem horrendous! But the vow of love before God helps hold a man and woman together and a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (as Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 talks about.) If The Lord decides to let me have a wife- cool. If The Lord decides for me to remain single- cool. As Romans 14:8 says, whether I live or die- I'm The Lord's- I live and die to Him.
        As to all the business about being called to be single and such- I know Jesus refers to this some in Matthew 19. And I don't know that I feel "called" to be single (I don't know that I feel particularly "called" to anything other than called to obey God and preach The Gospel, as God commands in His Word in The Bible)- but I do know that whether I feel called to be celibate or not, I sure better be celibate as long as I'm single because sex outside of marriage is a sin.
        So I can understand the despair and discouragement and despondency and depression (wow- a lot of "d" words are rather dreary....) for the unwilling single person- I go through that some at times myself. But I honestly usually don't care- it's not that I particularly desire to be single or whatever- I would like to be married to the right woman someday- but until such time that God grants me a wife, I'll be a single virgin man who seeks to serve Christ with all his heart, soul, mind and strength even though he fails miserably quite often but still keeps trusting Jesus to work in him as Philippians 1:6 promises that Jesus will do until I'm there with Him in Heaven.
         Here's another "d" word that's a bit more cheery- Delight yourself in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4) Which doesn't necessarily mean that you'll get married. It may mean that you truly do find your joy solely in The Lord (Nehemiah 8:10) and that you're not really all that worried about getting married.
         And let's not make marriage to be more than it is. Our society in the world at large tends to worship it to some degree and elevate it to a wrong status. If we're looking to marriage to fulfill all of our longings and desires for company and companionship, we're going to be sorely disappointed when we finally get it. Jesus Christ is the only One who truly can fulfill all desires of the heart- but even that will not be fully realized until we're in Heaven.
          So I just try to keep my focus on Jesus and not worry too much about marriage and such- there's no marriage in Heaven anyway [in the sense of a man and woman uniting as one before God], so why should I worry about the mistful vapor years I've got on Earth with that when I've got eternity ahead of me with more important things of the Kingdom to consider? (Not to say that marriage on earth is not important though- as I said before, it's awesome! And it can be pretty horrible at times too. It's certainly never easy.) But there is the marriage supper of The Lamb in Heaven, so I'm glad to be on the invitation list for that. And yes- the church is the bride of Christ, but it really doesn't work too well for single men to say Jesus is my husband. wink emoticon But He is my Lord, Savior and Best Friend Forever (yes- He really is my BFF and yes, I really made that cultural reference- lol) :-) and that's the most important thing.
          And I must say I really thank Him for family and friends and brothers and sisters in Christ who remind me of the fellowship that we all enjoy together in Christ now and will enjoy eternally and more so than we've ever experienced here when we all get to Heaven. :-)
           So just remember God loves you and it'll be alright. And take your pain and loneliness to The Lord- Job and David and Habakkuk and Hannah and Naomi and Jeremiah and tons of others sure weren't shy about it- and God knows all of our needs and He will provide for them all according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19) He may not provide all our wants, but it may be that He'll help us learn to be content in all situations (as Philippians 4 talks about right before that famous verse in 13- the one about how I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me- the one that might be better read as I can endure all things through Christ who strengthens me.) And don't forget that those who have given up families for Christ's sake in this life will receive 100-fold times in the next. I think sometimes God is saying to us- I want you to want Me. :-) And that's no cheap trick- look at all that God has done for us- He wants us so badly He went to Hell and back for us when Christ died and rose to pay for our sins! 1 Corinthians 10:31 commands us to do everything as unto The Lord and not just unto men. Thus, whatever I do, I want to be single-minded in purpose as I focus on bringing God glory. If I can do that better as a married man, praise God! If I can do that better as a single man, praise God! :-) (God is praised always regardless.)
I know I don't want God as much as I should- but I want to want Him and want nothing else. And I pray as Thomas Merton did that even that in itself is pleasing to Him. And He'll take care of the rest, as Keith Green said.
         Hope those ramblings help someone else who was born a rambling man (or a rambling woman, as the case may be.) Take care and God bless.