(Note: This is in response to a critique of what is referred to as "purity culture", posted on this blog.
I can appreciate the points made and I do think the church needs to consider how best to Biblically address the issue of sexuality, especially with youth groups.)
Interesting blog post. I think the main problem there is that so much of what Is described as "purity culture" is not Biblical. If a church is teaching these things, then it needs to repent and correct its teaching.
To address them one by one:
1. Women are responsible for their sexual sin and men are responsible for their sexual sin.
It is worth noting that Romans 14 does warn about being a stumbling block for others and thus, it is worth considering that factor in the way we dress, along with everything else. 1 Peter 3 speaks to this point for women. Both men and women should be cognizant of how our dress- and everything else we say or do- can either turn someone towards Christ or repel them.
2. Neither women nor men should feel shame about their bodies. We both cover up appropriately according to the Spirit's leading out of love, both for our own bodies and for other people. It should not be a shame-based thing.
3. Both men and women have sexual desire (for the most part- I recognize that some identify as asexual and honestly have no libido). Both men and women are sinners. This is why both fail to control their sexual urges at times. Men are equally prone to be deceived as are women. Sexual desire is not the sin- lust is, along with sexual abuse, and sexual relations outside of the marriage of one man to one woman for life.
We all struggle with sin- and that's why we all need Christ.
4. Every single girl, boy, man and woman Is eternally valuable and loved by God because we are all made in His image. Women are more than just their sexuality, as are men. Our worth is found in Christ, not in our virginity. If a man or woman has fallen into sin with pre- or extra- marital sex, that value has not changed one iota. They are not damaged goods. They are sinners who are still eternally valuable. And Christ restores us when we come to Him in repentance. We must find our value and worth in Him. And because we love Him, we will obey His commands.
5. I'm not sure what this has to do with anything. I am pretty sure I can safely say, for the most part, men and women both enjoy sex equally. I am pretty sure most people find sex to be fun. I am also bewildered that women are evidently not familiar with their anatomy. It would seem to be a failing on the part of biology instruction in schools. Both men and women should have a basic understanding of human anatomy.
6. If men and women have sex before marriage, yes- many things can go wrong. Thankfully, God is still willing to forgive us when we come to Him in repentance. This sexual sin does not ruin one's entire life forever. God can still bring restoration and forgiveness. The lives of those who fall to this sin are still infinitely important and valuable.
7. There is no difference between sexual abuse and sex before marriage in the sense that both are sins. That aside, of course there's a difference between these acts. Consent should certainly be in place before any sex act and it should come in the form of a two word phrase that both man and woman repeat before man and God- "I do". (And yes, even within the context of marriage, the husband and wife should have each other's consent before engaging in coitus. Your spouse is not your sex toy.)
If a woman is raped, then the man is guilty of rape. The woman is not guilty of pre-marital sex here. The Bible speaks to this point in Deuteronomy 22.
I agree that these teachings can and have been used to marginalize and subjugate women. This is not right.
The church needs to teach Biblical teachings on sexual purity and encourage love and respect for all people. There is no male or female in Christ- we are all one in Him. (Galatians 3:26)
